New Fic: What You Need: The Thirteenth One

[namaste]

Title: What You Need: The Thirteenth One
Author: Namaste
Summary: "So where do you buy these things? Do they have cane stores?" -- John Henry Giles, "DNR" Stories of how House came by his canes over the years, told through a series of short fics. PG. This one is about 500 words. Part thirteen of thirteen -- the final chapter. Spoilers for the fourth season. Thanks to everyone who stuck with me and this fic throughout these past thirteen days. To start at the beginning, go here.



The thirteenth one ... House pauses with his hand in the air. Thirteen, he thinks. He reminds himself that he's not superstitious, but he still doesn't take the cane, and Cuddy lowers it to the floor.

"Maybe you should wait a little longer," she says. "Get more rest."

"I've been resting," House says and takes the cane. He's not sure what he expects when he pushes down on it and stands. It's just another cane. He'd even used it briefly in the hours after the bus crash. When Cuddy showed up to drive him home, she had it with her. He wonders now when she had the time to pick it up.

That was a week ago. The blond cane has leaned against beds and dressers and tables ever since -- from the ICU to the step-down unit and finally to this private room on the third floor. It was there every time he opened his eyes, a reminder of what he'd lost. Of things that changed, and things that would never change. It was there. Wilson wasn't.

"He stopped by when you were asleep," Cuddy told him one day. "He didn't want to wake you up." She'd looked away from him as she spoke, and he hadn't been able to tell if it was a lie. He's pretty sure it was.

Kutner had offered to look through the wreckage for the old cane. House had told him not to bother, but didn't tell him why. He didn't know if he could explain it anyway. It was just a sense that it was broken into pieces, broken beyond repair. Somehow it seemed appropriate that he should lose that, along with everything else.

Cuddy's cane is just a substitute, but it's steady under his hand. He feels a slight tremor in his arm, but knows that has nothing to do with the cane.

Cuddy hovers as he makes his way across the room and into the wheelchair that'll take him out of here. Finally. The halls are nearly empty, just one nurse at the station who glances up as they pass. Cuddy's true to her word, letting him leave before anyone comes by with another empty sentiment.

There's no one he wants to see anyway.

No, he corrects himself. That's not true.

The funeral was three days ago. Cuddy says Wilson has taken time off to go through Amber's things, to handle all the paperwork that death brings in its wake.

Cuddy's car is parked just outside the main entrance, and she opens the passenger door, waits as House puts his feet on the ground, places the new cane on the concrete.

The cane angles in against him like it belongs there, but House knows it's only instinct that guides it, muscle memory, a movement that's ingrained in every step he takes -- every step he's taken ever since that first cane.

He tells himself that this is just another cane. Numbers don't mean anything. He braces himself against it and takes another step.

Comments

[bittereternity.livejournal.com]

This was a really good read. The ending was sad and yet sort of hopeful. Thank you so much for sharing this!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was kind of hard to avoid a sad ending here, since that's where canon left us, but it was a fun experiment to play with flash fiction and the canes.

[cindy-lou-who8.livejournal.com]

Wow. I don't quite know what to say. I'm speechless.

And I am sad to see this series completed. It was brilliant. :)

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I may have to have an addendum whenever House gets his next cane.

[3kelvin.livejournal.com]

To quote Ferguson... "at least we end on a kind of down note". ;-)

I think it's perfect. It's fits so well that you used the loss of the flame cane as a reminder of the loss of Wilson and everything else (especially because Wilson had paid for it). It's lovely that Kutner would offer to search for it and very plausible that House wouldn't want him to. And for some reason I can't get enough of post finale fic (possibly because the show very likely won't deliver on many things I would want to see happen on screen). I wonder if we are going to grow into liking the new cane.

Thanks for a great series.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and yeah, it was hard to give an uplifting end to this series considering why House had to get a new cane in canon. But at the same time, I hope there was some level of acceptance and lighter touches along the way.

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

Oh. Now I'm sad. But it's a perfect last chapter with lots of things that can happen afterwards (open ending) (am I making sense? My English always gets terrible when I'm tired), I like that.
Thanks for this excellent series, I loved each and every one of the chapters!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

You make plenty of sense, and thanks for sticking with this all the way through.

[talktidy.livejournal.com]

I like how you draw parallels between canes and friendships.

These were excellent. I'm sorry this appears to be the last.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I approached the canes as a way to explore House's life and relationships throughout the past years.

[pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is lovely and so terribly sad. Everything about House's thoughts and observations feels shattered and desolate here. He hasn't lost everything else entirely, since Cuddy is the one taking care of him, but what's gone looms so very large he can't seem to see what remains.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

I hadn't really thought out the fact that this flashfic series would end on a "down" note, just because of canon, but it was interesting to play with a House that would reach some sort of acceptance about the cane, even if he doesn't see now how much he still has. (Of course he didn't really see that back then, either.)

[sokerchick777.livejournal.com]

I really really love this series. I think you did a brilliant job with portraying the ups and down House goes through and his innate disgust with his disability.

The way you brought the series to a close ending on the superstitious thirteenth cane was great and showing how ingrained the action of walking with a cane is now. Perfect.

The whole thing makes me excited for September so I can see which cane he has now!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's been a fun exploration of House, his life and his canes. I've always loved when a new one shows up, now I have even more of a reason to watch for them.

[mintexpresso.livejournal.com]

Wonderful way to end this series. Thank-you for these!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, and thanks for the comments.

[avidreadergirl.livejournal.com]

excellent series! love the ending, I think it fits perfectly with where canon left us.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Canon is a bit depressing just now, but I think it'll lead us to interesting places.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

*cries*

That's very sad, but it doesn't kill the hope, which is pretty hard to do given the way the finale ended.

This is a wonderful series.

*goes back to first one and mems*

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I did try to give a bit of hope in here, all things considered.

[soulcanhope.livejournal.com]

It was there. Wilson wasn't.

So simple, yet so powerful. Excellent read, all of them!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was a fun project to write, and I'm glad you enjoyed them.

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Indeed, this was fantastic! I loved the entire series, and this installment had the perfect mix of sadness with just a touch of hope.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It was a fun project to do, and 13 seemed to be an appropriate number to stop on.

[ranrata.livejournal.com]

I really loved this series. Can't wait to read whatever you write next =)

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I've got a couple of ideas in my head, but we'll have to see where they lead me.

[ljoss.livejournal.com]

I just came back from 2 weeks holidays and this series was like a "welcome home"-present! Thank you so much for yet another great fic!

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. And I just finished two weeks holiday as well, and was taking advantage of that to see if I could post a fic a day as a challenge to myself, with those fics taking the shape of this series.

[smiddlecn.livejournal.com]

A wonderful series of stories...and I'm impressed with the whole concept. I hope you write more of them after the new season begins. I'm curious already as to the story behind cane # 14.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and I'm looking forward to cane number 14 myself. It's great from my perspective that House is the kind of character who changes his canes once a year or so.

[lilyargent.livejournal.com]

These were so lovely. wonderful. enjoyable. normally I would never read 13 installments at once, but I just got too into it to tear myself away.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. At least they were 13 short installments.

[lazy-nightowl.livejournal.com]

A wonderful installment. I love the ending; very in character for House.

I do hope you will continue to write these, each time House gets a new cane.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. We'll have to see what the next cane brings us, before I make a commitment, but it'd certainly be fun to continue playing with it.

[joe-pike-junior.livejournal.com]

It's such a bummer that the flame cane died in the bus crash. Let's face it, it was the coolest cane ever.

Very sad, this, without ever being overwrought. Well done.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I wanted to avoid the "overwrought" bit.

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm new to the fandom and was holding off on this until I finished the Season 4 DVDs, and I was surprised at the impact that this series of vignettes had on me. You know how to tell a story in such a gentle way, the emotions have a chance to build without hitting the reader over the head. I've enjoyed all your stories so much. Thanks so much for sharing them.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much, and welcome to the fandom. I hope you enjoy it (it's not too wanky -- usually). It's been fun playing with the vignette length stories for the sense of touching on a thought, or a moment in time, and using a series, I think, gives the opportunity for those moments to build on each other.

[angelcat2865.livejournal.com]

I can't tell you how much I loved this series. You did a wonderful job on all of the stories! This one was especially poignant.

[namasteyoga.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It was interesting to play both with the canes and the stories they told, along with the shorter flashfic genre all in one series.

[kate-swynford.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed the whole series. Thank you!