pwcorgigirl: (Default)
pwcorgigirl ([personal profile] pwcorgigirl) wrote in [personal profile] namaste 2010-09-05 09:58 pm (UTC)

I love the quiet strength you bring to writing Blythe. &hearts

There are a few very tiny things I saw:

Missing a word here: But all it took was one phone with James ...

Cuddy's eyes are light blue: Dark hair, dark eyes and a quick wit...

Needs a "too" instead of "to": Blythe had been to worried about Greg at the time ...

You have "made" back-to-back in two sentences. Arrangements were made. Lists were made ... Maybe "Lists were compiled and double-checked ...

"Then then would have called." Should be "they".


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