If you've got a spare opinion ...

OK, so I've mentioned before the kid's book that I've been writing since last summer. It's essentially done, and I had a professional critique to help me fine tune some elements of it. One of the things brought up at that time was that I needed a more straightforward first chapter, since there was a section of flashback, which kids in the age range I'm aiming for -- 8 to 12 -- need a more linear approach to the story telling. (The original first chapter and more background on it are here if anyone's interested.)

But in reworking it, while I felt it was still good, I didn't feel it was as strong a hook, and I simply didn't like it as much as I had the original one. Now that I'm getting close to getting it sent out to publishers (who will hopefully be interested), I suddenly came up with another approach, which I like and think is stronger, but I'd love to hear some opinions -- since at this point, I've been through the story so much it's hard to think objectively about it.

So I've attached the first chapter, approached in two separate ways. (You'll see that the second half of the first chapter is essentially the same.) If you've got the time, I'd appreciate hearing what you think.

Thanks.

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